Sometimes life throws us curve balls that are just disappointing. As an adult, we can usually deal with them and learn from them. Our children however may struggle with not knowing how to handle emotions of disappointment or rejection. As we are now into the fall sports season, you may be facing the same. Coping When Your Child Doesn't Get Picked For The Team can be difficult. While it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't a good team player, it can be a disappointment for them. Knowing what to say and how to say it is important at this time. We hope to give you some tips that will help make this time easier for both of you.
COPING WHEN YOUR CHILD DIDN'T GET PICKED FOR THE TEAM
Don't Say, “Try Again Next Year”. At least not right away. While they can indeed work hard and try again, with the initial disappointment that saying is likely only going to make them angry, frustrated or even sadder. Avoid mentioning that until the initial pain has worn off a bit. In a few weeks, you can sit down and decide if it's something they want to aim for again.
Distract Them. Offer to go to a movie, out to eat, to the arcade or another fun and distracting thing they will enjoy. Don't force it, and understand if they would rather go home and be quiet. Putting the offer out there and listening to their cues is all you need to do. Put the offer out there to have a fun night out regardless of their success getting on the team.
Help Them Practice. Give them time to mourn the fact that they weren't picked for the team, then ask if they still want to do whatever the sport or activity is. If they do, then encourage them to start practicing. You might even suggest some videos or articles they could watch and read to learn new/better form to help them improve.
Encourage Something Different. If they didn't make one team, perhaps they are better at a different sport or activity. Offer to help them work on making a different team instead. Sports, clubs or even artistic endeavors are all places they can excel and feel a part of a team.
Be realistic about your children and their abilities. Some kids just aren't terribly athletic. Others will excel and always be picked for the team. No matter what happens when your child tries out, make sure that you offer them your love and support. Watch their reactions to the news and to you. Adapt as you need to, but always be willing to listen, to hold and to take them out for a little distraction to have fun. Coping when your child doesn't get picked for the team can be just as hard on the parent as it is the child. Plan ahead and put into practice these tips for an easier transition if this happens to your child.
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