Are there days you’re worried you might strangle your teenager? That’s ok. This is a normal feeling and not one to be ashamed of. You may be wondering How to Raise a Teen Who Isn’t Entitled without feeling like you are going to be struggling every day. While perhaps not an expert on the subject, I do have the experience to share that has been successful. These thoughts are just what you might need to help you get a good grip on how to raise your teen.
How to Raise a Teen Who Isn’t Entitled
Truth is, teens can be a pain in the rear sometimes. If you allow them to walk all over you, they won’t hesitate. Here are some tips and ways to help your teenager realize you want what’s best for them, but they can’t always get what they want.
Entitled teens are more prone to rule-breaking. If you haven’t ever sat down with your teen and gone over your rules and expectations you have for them, it’s never too late. Make sure they fully understand the do’s and don’ts and are aware of the consequences. Letting an entitled teen get away with everything is not loving or teaching them anything. You are simply enabling them.
Consistency with rules
Both you and your spouse need to be on the same page for consistency while disciplining bad behavior. If one is soft while the other is firm, the teenager will begin manipulating both of you. The punishment for certain rules broken needs to be consistent, and fit the crime. You also need to give your teen some grace without going to extremes when it comes to discipline.
Don’t give handouts
Stop it!!! Giving your child an allowance for existing is not what they will learn out in the real world. Why do it at home? Giving a teenager an allowance for doing chores and work around the house is great, and should be encouraged. Just giving them money continually for no reason is not helping your teen.
Hard Work Ethic
Teach your teens the value of working hard to work towards something they want to purchase. Having something right this instant is not healthy. If they're wanting that new iPhone, get them out there mowing yards or babysitting. Once they have saved enough money, then they can purchase the phone, not when they want it. This also shows the value in the item.
Don’t cover for them
It’s hard when you see your child fail or make a mistake. Don’t jump in there to fix the problem that’s not yours to fix. They are nearly adults and need to learn to fix their own mistakes if you ever hope for them to be independent one day. This means sometimes they may FAIL and that is ok. It is a valuable life lesson.
You are not best friends
Simply put, you’re not their best friend, you’re their parent. Stop looking to be popular to your teen because that puts them on the same level as you. You can’t parent that way. Work on a relationship with your child that promotes trust and understanding so they feel secure coming to you, but also understand you are in charge. This can move you into friendship after your teen becomes an adult.
Don’t take the bait
Whenever your child is mad at you and looks to tick you off in an argument, don’t take that bait. Doing so, your teenager has found power over you and can easily manipulate you. If they see you get angry, this will become a continual go-to for them. Stay calm and don't let your teen take control of the situation by you acting in anger.
Offer Opportunity with positive change
Always punishing and disciplining your teens is discouraging for them, and can create resentment between you and your teen. Give them opportunities and rewards when good behavior and improvement was made. Your teen is seeking attention whether it is positive or negative.
These are several tips to help you raise a teen that is not entitled. Which points did you find helpful? What other ways have worked with you and your teen that might not be on this list?